It almost turned me into an anti-dentite

So I went to the dentist today. I'm embarrassed to say that it was the first time in 2-3 years, but this was ONLY because I wasn't covered under any insurance for a while. So now that I'm covered again, I went. See the logic in this? Do ya? Should I explain it further?

Well, I know I hadn't been in a while, but I didn't realize that techniques could change so quickly in the field of dentistry. The cleaning with the hygenist was fairly routine. She poked, she probed, she alternated at squirting water and air in my mouth, she scraped, she suctioned spit, she polished, she wiped blood, she flossed, she carefully maneuvered a sharp metal hook and funny round mirror in my mouth at the same time, and perhaps the most important of all traits for a dental hygenist...she talked in a happy, sweet, and soft voice.

Since it was my first time at this dentist, I got the full package complete with mouth x-rays AND one full-head x-ray.

*Aside: I still wonder to this day how it is safe to be giving my head an x-ray yet I have to wear a lead apron that only covers one side of my body. I know there is some completely reasonable scientific explanation, but I don't know it!

Then of course the dentist came in. Super nice guy. But I've never had a dentist rhyme off so much dental jargon in my life! "Engrained biflex on the anterior 2-1, 3-3, and 1-4...no wait, 1-3"* This was slightly disconcerting as I would hope he'd know his teeth numbers down cold by now. I don't think you'd ever find a surgeon in an operating room saying "Okay, let's proceed with removal of the left kidney...no wait, the right one". Don't worry, I'm fairly confident he really does know his stuff. The way he was talking was complete "geek speak" for dentists.

He examined my mouth and teeth, which was completely normal in my opinion. But then came the unusual part. He grabbed my tongue and pulled it out of my mouth and moved it around. I was so stunned and couldn't help but laugh out loud at this. I mean, this guy was grabbing my tongue!! Weird! I think when I laughed he felt obligated to explain that he was just checking for some unusual growths and not just trying to see how far out my tongue reaches. I'm sure I didn't seem tooooooooo immature. Sheesh. He then proceeded to grab my lips and stretch them in all directions. But the strangeness ended shortly thereafter and the rest of the visit went as expected.

Anyway, that was my crazy experience for the day. And you know what else?...NO cavities! Yay!

*I couldn't remember the real words, so I made up what I could. I try.