I have now been off of work for just shy of four months. What I really loved most about my job (besides chatting with all of the wonderful people I worked with), was being involved in research and performing all of the experiments that came with it. So I decided it was just about time that I perform some type of experiment since I had the itch. Of course, my experiment wouldn't belong to the 'genetics' category per se (even though I classify Gord as my biggest genetic experiment ever), but it would still be something to keep those scientific wheels a turnin'! What was my experiment you ask?...
Observation: Blonde women enjoy being blonde. So much so that many non-blondes become blondes to see what all the hype is about.
Question: Do blondes enjoy being blonde because the old saying "blondes have more fun" is true?
Hypothesis: Blondes have more fun
Materials: A whole heck of a lot of hair lightener, and one talkative hairdresser.
Method: SEVEN HOURS in the salon with one feeding session for Gord in the waxing room (my poor honey). Three hair lightening sessions followed by toner. Multiple washes, dries, and a brief hair trim (due to time limitations...um, I was there for SEVEN HOURS!!!!)
Results: I become blonde (see figure 1- which will be posted later today) and do not have more fun.
Discussion: So, becoming a blonde was a success, but as you can see it didn't come without its share of inconveniences. I call my hair-dresser the "Mel" of hairdressers (sorry Mel, please don't come after me for that one...I wuv you...) because she originally told me it would be three hours, then as time went on, said it would be 2 more hours, and then two hours later only ONE more hour, etc etc. until seven hours had elapsed and I ran out the door with my haircut not even finished. We won't even discuss the price here. It would hurt too much.
So life as a blonde has been going on for a few weeks now I guess. I like being blonde (a true blonde for the first time in my life since my youth), I like hair change. But why have I not had more fun you ask? Well, because of several reasons:
1. I have yet to be hit on by mass amounts of men (but maybe they just saw my wedding ring, hmmmmm?...)
2. I still don't look any better in a bikini.
3. I can't stay up any later than normal (ie 9pm)
4. My scalp has become so dry from the chemical treatment that I've seen some...brace yourselves...DANDRUFF!
5. My roots have already started growing in exposing me for the blonde fraud I am.
6. I am now susceptible to all those corny blonde jokes.
Final conclusion: Blondes like being blonde not because they have more fun but because they don't want to spend seven hours with chemicals on their heads and end up with dandruff. They'd rather spend their time washing cars in bikinis while drinking a Bud Light. So who are the dumb ones really?...