Adventures in a black maple box

Life has just gotten a little more interesting...

Thursday, March 30, 2006

But I won't wear the shoulderpads

I have now been off of work for just shy of four months. What I really loved most about my job (besides chatting with all of the wonderful people I worked with), was being involved in research and performing all of the experiments that came with it. So I decided it was just about time that I perform some type of experiment since I had the itch. Of course, my experiment wouldn't belong to the 'genetics' category per se (even though I classify Gord as my biggest genetic experiment ever), but it would still be something to keep those scientific wheels a turnin'! What was my experiment you ask?...

Observation: Blonde women enjoy being blonde. So much so that many non-blondes become blondes to see what all the hype is about.

Question: Do blondes enjoy being blonde because the old saying "blondes have more fun" is true?

Hypothesis: Blondes have more fun

Materials: A whole heck of a lot of hair lightener, and one talkative hairdresser.

Method: SEVEN HOURS in the salon with one feeding session for Gord in the waxing room (my poor honey). Three hair lightening sessions followed by toner. Multiple washes, dries, and a brief hair trim (due to time limitations...um, I was there for SEVEN HOURS!!!!)

Results: I become blonde (see figure 1- which will be posted later today) and do not have more fun.

Discussion: So, becoming a blonde was a success, but as you can see it didn't come without its share of inconveniences. I call my hair-dresser the "Mel" of hairdressers (sorry Mel, please don't come after me for that one...I wuv you...) because she originally told me it would be three hours, then as time went on, said it would be 2 more hours, and then two hours later only ONE more hour, etc etc. until seven hours had elapsed and I ran out the door with my haircut not even finished. We won't even discuss the price here. It would hurt too much.

So life as a blonde has been going on for a few weeks now I guess. I like being blonde (a true blonde for the first time in my life since my youth), I like hair change. But why have I not had more fun you ask? Well, because of several reasons:

1. I have yet to be hit on by mass amounts of men (but maybe they just saw my wedding ring, hmmmmm?...)
2. I still don't look any better in a bikini.
3. I can't stay up any later than normal (ie 9pm)
4. My scalp has become so dry from the chemical treatment that I've seen some...brace yourselves...DANDRUFF!
5. My roots have already started growing in exposing me for the blonde fraud I am.
6. I am now susceptible to all those corny blonde jokes.

Final conclusion: Blondes like being blonde not because they have more fun but because they don't want to spend seven hours with chemicals on their heads and end up with dandruff. They'd rather spend their time washing cars in bikinis while drinking a Bud Light. So who are the dumb ones really?...

Monday, March 27, 2006

Mr. Sun, I love you!

Wow, what an incredible day! It's nearly 10 degrees above zero outside (by that I really mean it's 9 degrees but it just sounds hotter to say 'nearly 10 degrees'). Gord and I just got back from a marathon walk around the neighbourhood. I wish I could say he enjoyed it as much as I did, but he was his usual self and slept the whole time, minus the first 2 minutes. Anytime he's in motion, even if it's right after he's napped, he decides it's a great time for some more shut-eye. I swear, he's going to be one of those kids that the school bus driver is going to get out of their seats for in order to wake them up to get off the bus. When we pulled up in the driveway at the end of our walk I parked him near the door, I went in and grabbed the laptop and camera and brought it outside in hopes that I could write this post in the sun while getting some extra fresh air. After I snapped a few shots though, my plan was foiled because Gordo woke up (of course! he wasn't moving! see...?) I did manage to grab a few pics of the flowers I told you about. On days like this I have hope they'll see a day of bloom, but it'll probably just snow tomorrow or something.

We also had a pretty good Sunday. Steve was back at home, it was another beautiful day and we decided to pack up and go out to Springbank park for a walk. It was such a great sight. There were people walking with babies, children, and dogs, people playing frisbee and kids and adults alike playing in the park on the swings. We had a great time and then went for a long drive around the city (one of our favourite activities) and then to lunch at a nice burger joint (no not McD's!). When Gord went to bed, Steve and I split the remainder of our Bailey's and vegged out on the couch and watched some TV. It was nice.

I feel like I have a lot of energy right now and feel like I've accomplished quite a bit today. I managed to do the dishes, put on and empty the dishwasher, do some laundry, clean our bedroom bathroom toilet (nice huh?!) and then I accomplished the mother of all tasks that I have been putting off for YEARS (quite literally actually...): I sorted and organized our box of files and all the huge pile of loose paper that was sitting ontop of it!. YAY! All this ontop of the marathon walk and writing this blog. And it's only 3pm. I am rocking today if I do say so.

Well, with that I should go since Gord's dragonfly is no longer keeping him very amused. But before I go, (don't worry, I'm soothing him before writing more!) I want to share with you something I remembered today that I thought was quite funny. The last time we were at Wal-Mart and standing in the customer service line, I happened to look at the bin of items on the counter of things that people had returned. One of the items was a first response pregnancy test. Does this not strike you as odd? I could just picture some moron walking up with it and saying "Ya know, I think I'd like to return this pregnancy test, cause I think it's broken". I mean, why would you buy a pregancy test and need to return it? I would've loved to be there for that one. Anyway, hope you got a kick out of it, cause I know I did. (sorry if I've offended anyone who has ever returned one... ;) )

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Itsy bitsy spider...

is not a song I was singing to Gord. I am completely wigged out right now (is that even the right term?!). While watching the Truman show on TV and playing with Gord on his playmat on the floor, I saw a disgustingly big, biege spider crawl up the wall behind the TV and rest itself in the crook between wall and ceiling. If you know me at all, you know about my immense fear of the insects. My first reaction was to call Steve, but he's not here (and let's face it, he's no better than me in these situations...just kidding honey... *wink* to the rest of you ;) ). My second thought was to leave it alone and pretend I didn't see it. But then I thought about poor Gord on the floor and how afraid I would be of a spider setting up shop in his ear or something. That thought sent chills up and down my spine so I went for the ultimate spider-mashing weapon...the papertowel roll 3000. I stood on the coffee table and made my first attempt. It started crawling away and I quickly made my second attempt (during which time I think there was a high-pitched girlish squeal). My second attempt caused the spider (still living I'm assuming) to fall behind the entertainment unit. Now it is hiding in the darkness...under the unit, beside the unit, on the unit...who knows now! I have been feverishly scanning all surfaces for the last 25 minutes, but to no avail. No spider in sight. GREAT! Now I have to live in fear that this spider is going to present itself at some unsuspecting moment on one of us or in some food I'm about to eat. Ech! And until that moment I will always have one eye on the floor, wall, and anywhere I'm about to sit. Damn you, beige spider! My only hope now is that the Dude will behave like the cat he is and hunt that spider down.
A blog during naptime

Yup, I write this blog while Gord is down for his morning nap. It's 8:16 AM. Can you imagine taking a NAP at 8:16 am? He was up for the day at 6:30. I feel like I could use a morning nap. Don't feel too sorry for me yet, I went to bed at 9 pm last night. But that 9 1/2 hours was not without it's interuptions of course (which I knew would be the case, hence the 9 pm bedtime). He was up at 11 pm and 3:30 am. Not too shabby, but usually when he goes to bed at 7:30 pm he wakes up for the first time between 1-3am. Oh well. Folks, just to elaborate, the excitement of my Friday night was chalked up to a BIG bowlful of mint chocolate ice cream while watching "What not to underwear" and scoping out blog updates. Yee-haw! I challenge you to beat my Friday fun!

In other news, I've been living as a single mom since Thursday afternoon. No, me and Steve are not on the splits, rather he has had to attend a two-day business meeting thing. This includes a stay in a hotel room that he calls equivalent to a nice bachelor pad, paid dinners at fancy up-scale restaurants, social time which includes drinks and poker play till the wee hours of the morning, topped by a quiet and uninterrupted sleep (emphasis on the word quiet...and uninterrupted...and sleep) ;) Ha. He has it sooooooo rough. No doubt he will come home "exhausted" though. But keep in mind, he was warned. I made him read the fine print before he left. If he chose to stay up late and drink, he was foregoing any possibility to claim that he was too tired or run down to perform any nightly duties upon his return. He verbally signed on the dotted line, so I'm not worried. In all seriousness, I know he works very hard and is also very anxious to come home and spend time with Gordo. I am also looking forward to having him back in the house. There are a lot of one-way conversations going on over here right now and they mainly revolve around diaper talk, tickles, and barn animal noises. Thank god nobody is here to witness that.

Well that's all for me folks. For now anyway. It's only 8:30 so I still have a whole day to post some more. Just me and the boy for the day. It's going to be (in Janice's voice) "Gordie and mommy's day! of! fun!" Later folks.

Friday, March 24, 2006

For the kids...

If you read Steve's blog, you know all about his recent campaign to raise some money for the Children's Health foundation. He requested that everyone who has a blog should make a post to promote this cause. And so, here is my effort. I am so proud of Steve and the great thing he has done. I know a lot of items on his 101 list are aimed at bettering himself and doing great things for others. I share his enthusiasm for donating to this charity because as he has already mentioned, there are people we know who have had the unfortunate oppotunity to make use of their services. This is my plea to all those who may come across my blog who do not already read Steve's, to consider donating any amount of money, however small, to the Children's Health Foundation. Because there is no better cause in the world than taking care of our beautiful children.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

If you're uncomfortable with words beginning with "breast", read no further!


I have one of those 'Mom' posts to make today. Mainly to vent off some frustration at the fact that babies will do whatever it takes to keep you on your toes. Before I had Gord, I was adamant on breastfeeding. I even went to a breastfeeding class (which I dragged Steve to, tee hee! - Oh, don't think I'm mean, 90% of the women there dragged their men in as well). In the class the instructors warned that breastfeeding can be challenging in the beginning so I tried to mentally prepare myself. When Gord came and I started breastfeeding I suddenly realized what they meant. Your milk doesn't come in right away, the latch isn't perfect yet, your baby is losing weight and there is an immense pressure to put weight on. You supplement with formula but try to establish your milk supply at the same time. You've never breastfed before so you never know how much your baby is getting and when the baby cries you are always wondering if it's due to hunger. For me, I had (and still do sometimes) have this mental problem thinking that Gord is always hungry and isn't getting enough to eat, even though the numbers on the scale and the rolls on his thighs tell me otherwise. I remember one night in particular being on the verge of breakdown, Gord crying, trying to breastfeed, not knowing if it was working...Even though I wanted to breastfeed I considered giving up at that moment and filling up some bottles with formula. But for some reason I kept going and the rest is history. Needless to say, breastfeeding has become very easy and convenient and I know it is doing great for Gord.

So why do I need to vent now you wonder? Well, in order to keep Gord familiar with a bottle, I have kept a bottle of breastmilk handy to give to him every so often. This is critical since it allows us to leave Gord for a short time with a babysitter over a feeding. For some reason over the last week or so, Gord has been particular with when he chooses to take a bottle. For instance, yesterday I had a gloriously full bottle of breastmilk available to give him, but for some reason when Steve tried to feed it to him he just would not have it! He wailed and wailed but would not give in. So, I had to do the easy thing...breastfeed. See what I'm getting at here? Who would've thought in the beginning that breastfeeding would become the easy solution and bottlefeeding would be the new challenge. Just when you think you've mastered one thing I tell ya...gotta love those curve balls. So down the drain went the bottle of milk, which also bothers me because to me breastmilk is equivalent to liquid gold and it means I have to try to find a way to get a new bottle's worth without affecting the supply for Gord. Whew. Anyway, I really shouldn't complain because really I got want I wanted in the end, and I really am happy for it. Sorry for all the breastfeeding talk. I'll get it all out on this post so that I'll never have to post about it again. Breasfeeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding...there, I feel better now.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

They got my goat again!!!!

I apologize that 66% of my posts so far deal with Wal-Mart, but something has got to be said!

One of our purchases at Wal-Mart the other day was for a small press-on light to put near Gord's change table so as to give us a bit more viewing ability while changing his diaper in the middle of the night (nothing worse than getting yellow mush on your fingers and accidentally smearing it on everything you touch ya know?...WHAT?!) So we select one of the billion packages that they have on the shelves. I just couldn't wait for that night to use it (yes, having a light to put on while changing a diaper is an exciting thing in this household these days *sigh*). But when we put in the batteries and tried it out...you got it, no go! I tried many times to figure it out but to no avail. It appears that there is a piece missing. AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Wal-Mart, you've done it again! It irks me so much when I'm unlucky enough to pick the one package that isn't going to work. Soooooooooo, back to Wal-Mart again tonight. Hmph. My roll-up-the-rim coffee better pay off on the ride over there or someone's going to be cur-ank-eee waiting in line at customer service.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Is there anybody home up there?!

No, contrary to how it sounds, I'm not contemplating whether there is a "Big Guy" watching over us. Rather, it's a question aimed at all those who sit way up the corporate ladder at one of the major department stores in this country: Wal-Mart! Why you ask? Because I've got a bone to pick with someone.

It was a wonderful afternoon yesterday. Steve came home from work and we decided to load up the little guy and take him out for a trip since we needed some household essentials. And when I need to buy those essentials, I always go to Wal-Mart because I love it and the prices are always great. We got some Tim's for the ride over and then began our shopping. We were having a blast and when we had picked up everything on the list I suggested we head over to the baby section because Gord is a growing boy and all of his diaper shirts were getting too small. I don't know what it is about the baby section, it makes me so happy to walk through it. I guess it's because it's a whole section of Wal-Mart that I had never even knew existed before I had Gord and now suddenly it's like I have a golden pass to get in and shop. So needless to say I was in a great mood. I walked over to the wall full of packages of diaper shirts. I picked up one of the packages and looked at the size information on the back. Because for those of you who have kids, you know that their age doesn't always coincide with the 'age size' of baby clothes. So, on the back of the diaper shirt package was this:

3 M : up to 10 lbs
6M : 10-14 lbs
9M : 14-18 lbs
12M : 18-22 lbs

With Gord being over 13 lbs already (at 3 1/2 months), I decided that I would get him the 9 month size shirts (especially since he has some 6 month sizes and they seem somewhat too small). So began the search. I was rooting through package after package on the wall looking for the 9M size. Tons of the other sizes but for some reason no 9 month, they were all out, in all the different makes and styles!! I couldn't believe my luck. While I was still searching, Steve says to me "there are no 9 month sizes. The stickers on the price labels jump from 6 months right to 9 months". "That can't be" I reply, that wouldn't make sense. A saleswoman came by and so I asked her if they had any of the 9 month size. She replied: (and yes this deserves it's own line)

"No, for some reason a couple of years ago they stopped carrying the 9 month size".

SAY WHA???!!!

I then proceeded to walk through the isles in a kind of daze, trying to figure out how any of this made ANY sense. Why, oh why, would they choose not to carry a whole size of baby clothes?! I could almost understand if they were short on shelf space and could only carry 3 of the sizes, but even then, it would make sense not to carry the 3 month size since some babies are born over this size. But EVERY baby will eventually hit the 9 month size! I just don't get it. What moron is running the show over there at Wal-Mart? Can you imagine going to your favourite clothing store and realizing they decided not to carry size medium anymore, just XS, S, L, and XL? Wouldn't you question the education level of the store owner and be really mad all at the same time cause you couldn't buy any clothes if you were size medium? If someone can please help me to understand this, please do. My brain is hurting and needs some relief!

UGH!

So, no diaper shirts yet, but my baby business is going elsewhere. I shake my fist at you Wal-Mart!

Monday, March 20, 2006


Tasting metal

Wow, so I actually bit the bullet. Steve will be so proud of me. I've also come to the conclusion that one cannot properly start a blog without the first post announcing "world, I've started a blog". Otherwise, chaos might ensue.

Tricky thing, what to make of this first blog post... I suppose I could end it here and be done with it and quickly make many posts until it is buried in the depths of the archives and soon forgotten. But, I love a good challenge my friends! You WILL read on!

It's the perfect day to start this blog after much procrastination (is it really procrastination when you just want to spend your five free mintues a day zoning out on the couch in front of The View? Okay, I'm lying, I usually watch the whole show and throw Gordie his butterfly toy if need be. Those ladies are hee-larious!). Spring has commenced (or it will as of 1:36 this afternoon) and the sun is shining away. I don't really know how warm it is outside but I'm hoping that it's warm enough to allow for my spring flowers to continue (yes, I said CONTINUE) sprouting from the ground. For those of you who haven't already heard, I'm very bitter about this. In October, at about 7 months pregnant, I was down on hands and knees in my garden planting some 180 spring flower bulbs (no, that number is not a misprint). Folks, it took me hours but I was very determined to have an enormous and breathtaking display of flowers come up for the first time at our house this spring. To be honest, I wanted to be the talk of the neighbourhood. As I was planting I could just hear them all in my head "wow, that woman is a marvel with a spade!...Just look at the delicate placement...Who did she hire, it could NOT have been her alone!" However, my bubble has busted. With the mild winter and recent freeze-thaws, the flowers began to appear, much to my chagrin. I don't know much about flowers but I figure sprouting so early and being snowed on cannot be good. Meh, whatcha gonna do I guess. Time will tell whether they bloom or not. I'm sure I'll be keeping you posted on this topic since it has for some reason affected me so much. Everytime, I go outside and see the little green pieces sticking out of the ground, my blood boils. They mock me.

So it's already well-known that I'm 3 1/2 months into my new job...as a mom. It has already proven to be the most rewarding and challenging job ever. Gordon is the sweetest little baby ever but he is also the reason why I thought 'adventures' was a suitable word to include in this blog title. Because there are many adventures to be had indeed. Steve does a great job of documenting his life and trials, but I'm sure the mom point of view has its share of discrepencies. We will see what the blog future brings.

With that, I will leave you first post.

May the adventures begin.